For Love
by SLopez
Summary: During Rachel's "What I did for love" rendition we get a glimpse of her thoughts. And she is not as bad as everyone thinks. Horrible summary, I know...


**Author's note:** I saw "Audition" this morning and after the final scene I couldn't get this out of my head, so I decided to write. This is just a drabble in Rachel's POV. This story contains SPOILERS from the episode, so if you haven't seen it yet, I sugest you do it before reading this! :) Also, as English is not my first language, I appologize in advance if there are spelling or grammar errors in this story. Or both, actually :) Oh, and reviews are very appreciated here, so if you like it, don't hesitate on leaving some kind words. If you don't like it, you can leave constructive criticism, so I can get better with my work. Either way, I thank you all in advance! :)

**Disclaimer:** Sadly, Finn, or Glee, doesn't belong to me...

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**For love**

As I wander through McKinley's corridors I face myself with this emotional inner fight that I can't handle with people around.

Yes, I already meant to head to the auditorium when I left Finn behind, but the ladies' room would've been enough. It's not my place, though. I'm destined to be in the stage. That takes some influence on my choice.

I keep walking and thinking and I just don't know what _exactly_ am I feeling right now.

I'm happy, because I still have this amazing boyfriend that I love and that apparently loves me too, because he can put up with my high maintenance, my controlling nature, my craziness and all those personality defects I know I have and no one seems to understand but him. Until moments ago.

I'm also angry. At least I think it's anger because it is not a feeling I'm often used to. Sometimes I think I confuse envy with anger. But that's not the point. I feel angry that the talented Filipino girl had dumped us for those mean, unpleasant Vocal Adrenaline members. I'm not angry that she's not in New Directions but for having her trading us for those horrible human beings, who had thrown eggs at me not very long ago, particularly the one who claimed to have loved me. Anyways, with their rigid methods and diets and stressful routines, they will make Sunshine's life in a living hell. And, for that, I am truly sorry.

Lastly, I am sad. With my not very cautious plan of getting Sunshine out of our team, I managed to push the other glee club members even more apart from me. They never liked me and I'm positive they like me less at this very moment.

But though this makes me sad, it's not what makes me _really_ sad. What brings me into this complete and absolute sadness is the fact that Finn didn't believe me when I told him it was because of our glee club friends that I sent Sunshine to that crack-house.

Okay, I wouldn't be honest if I said it doesn't affect me how a great singer she is. It does. A lot. When I heard her singing for the first time, I confess I felt threatened. And if she stayed in New Directions I would mind _very much_ that _my_ solos would be given away to _her_. I don't mind anymore, not that much anyway, that Mercedes, Kurt or Tina, or even Quinn, get the solos, but I would mind if Sunshine did.

So, yes, I played this immature prank on her for me but also for the team, even if no one, not even my boyfriend, believes me.

Now standing at the choir's room door, observing my fellow glee clubbers having fun, like a family, I know what I'm _not_ feeling. And that is regret. I will _never _regret what I did, even if it made Vocal Adrenaline harder to beat. I will _never_ regret it because I know, deep inside, they will all thank me in the future for saving them from this solos' thief. Well, not that she would actually do that, but… you get my point!

For now, I would just be pleased if they forgive me. Even though I know I don't regret what I did, I will switch to my performer mode and apologize to this family of mine, this family that I don't like to imagine to be broken in some way or filled with strangers. Because, mostly Finn asked me to and then no one will believe that Rachel Berry thinks about other things besides herself and her career aspirations. Old Rachel, that hasn't met this family, would have thought like that, but not anymore.

Before I open the door and enter the choir room, I realize there's still a feeling lingering and assaulting my soul. It's _love_. Love I've learned to feel for this uncommon family. From Finn, my loving boyfriend, to Brittany, the distracted blonde Cheerio. From Kurt, this fabulous, fashion, gorgeous gay boy, to Quinn, the beautiful head Cheerio that kind of made my life in hell months ago. From Mercedes and her amazing voice, to Artie and his fantastic dreams and huge heart. From Noah, the handsome Jew who used to daily slushie me, to Tina, the gothic fashion addicted. From Mike and his amazing dance moves, to Santana, the cruel, Latin Cheerio which heart has a soft spot for glee club. And, of course, Mr. Schuester, this family absolute devoted mentor, teacher, friend. Father.

Taking a step into the room and closing the door behind me, I think about everything one last time.

No, I don't regret what I did to Sunshine.

Yes, I did _what I did for love_.


End file.
